Friday, May 6, 2011

One Year

A year ago today we left Dublin. It has not flown. This has been a defining year for us, filled with challenges, raw emotion and self-doubt. I feel a bit like we walked here barefoot from Dublin. However, if you were to ask me if I would I do it all again? Yes.

The thing about difficult paths is, the further along them you travel, the more likely it is that you're closer to your destination. What I hadn't realised on any level is that our destination is entirely different from the one we had intended. We did not go 'home' or 'back'. We went to a different place. You can never go back.

When we left Sydney in March 2007 we were two recently married, happy-go-lucky, successful people with the world at our feet. We returned slightly older, world-weary parents with 2 years of sleep deprivation and mounting uncertainty about our future. Sydney has not changed, but we all have - by 'all' I mean us, our friends, our social circle and the space that we occupy.

I love being here and I like carving a new niche, but I still have a strong desire to run. It's definitely easier to start again from the beginning than it is to start from half-way. When you start at the beginning there are no expectations, no disappointments and no relationships to resurrect or remedy. A new city gives you the opportunity to just 'be' - clean slate, no issues.

It's an incomplete blog post because it's an incomplete thought. One year in and we're still in a transitional stage. There will be more.

1 comment:

Aly said...

*hugs* I get it. I really do. I posted something similar just before Easter.

I never realised how unhomey, "home" could feel...